he says u are trying to LURE him.

the past is a shadow which will follow me through life.
haiish,
i'm sadd and disappointed with life.
wadde in the world is the problem with ME and LIFE.
dammit larhs!
wadeva the case.
life goes on.
i'm freaking bored now.
saturday is such a boring day.
whee` i gt a 3 week break before confirmation class starts again! (:
whee` i wanna go out! ((:
boink`
lools!
holidays start liaos i carnt go out lerhs! ):
MUST CHIONG STUDYING!
sian. i'm gonna make a movie.
BYE!
GOD LOVES! <3

HAPPY BIRTHDAY MATTHEW! (:

some things are better left UNSAID.

RUILING!
its YOU i wanna spend mah whole life with. the past contain memories that will nvr fade away. iloveyou koala! (:
- kiss is designed by nature to stop speech -

hellos! (:
i'm blogging again.
so much has happened in so lil tyme.
its difficult to explain using those few words.
but life doesnt always go the way it should.
so i think i just have to accept life and have the "go with the flow" attitude.
the past, present and future.
wad do they really mean to one?
i really wonder.

wednesday`
i had trng.
trng killed okayy.
i'm serious can!
but it was nt as bad as monday's. (:
i had track and field photo taking right after the e maths common test.
i'm failing e maths can?
saddening.
but anyway,
i've alrdy predicted it. (:
i noe i'll be right this tyme.

thursday`
i didnt go home aft sch.
i helped out at the library cos i was freaking bored.
yupp,
so i accompanied cien, fareen, sing yi and xueting.
i didnt want to go home so early den cien and i decided to go to xueting's hse.
the baby at her hse so KAWAII nehs! (:
den i went off at 7 and went to west mall to meet mummy and aunty and den went home lorhs.

friday`
i had trng today.
trng was tiring but i still endured it and went on with everything.
i noe people think that i am a bitch and all that stuff.
its just because i care.
and so much for being nice.
wadeva larhs!
i'm gonna flunk mah a maths common test as well.
i'm gonna flunk 2 maths larhs!
so much for being in one of the best classes.
dammit! wadeva it is larhs. haiish! )):
i didnt even complete my paper!
i noe hw to do the last question!
i spent too much freaking time on 2 of the questions!
wadde hell lorhs.
nvrmind. its alrdy ovr.
haiish! ):
i was so pissed with myself i showed temper during physics lesson.
i almost cried larhs! ):
haiish.
wadeva it is larhs.
damn sadd case derhs.
i'm freaking tired now lorhs! >_<"
the weather is freaking hot! >_<"

i dun get why people get so committed to relationships.
the relationship will eventually end.
you might as well stay as best friends forever?
dun understand humans.
frm the start,
we shld jus remain as friends.
i always regret the decisions i make.
i dun understand why and i dun understand life in any way or form.
in a way or another, i feel like ending all my miserys.
but thinking about how much the lord went through not just for me but for everyone,
i couldnt bring myself to do it.
the cuts that remain on my hands are my attempts of suicide.
guys are nothing but lies.
i'm nt talking abt guys though.

i train and slough my heart and lungs out
but i carnt get the results which others who didnt train get.
is life being fair to me?
i slough lyk a dog but get nth in return.

friends?
who exactly are they?
they're jus plain white lies which everyone tells.
tell me you're a true friend.
you're the biggest liar in the world.
anyway,
i'm tired.
whee`
GOD BLESS! <3

friends walk in and out of our lives, true friends leave footprints!

TRACK AND FIELD ROCKS! (:
TRACK IS MAH PASSION.
RUNNING IS MAH LIFE.!
I LOVE MR THAM! <3
I LOVE MR HO! <3


-RUILING!-
i'm begining to love you again. i alwaes think and dream of you. simply becos you're the only one i wanna share mah life with. i swear iloveyou with every bit of mah heart. every heartbeat carries blood as well as memories of us together. as long as the sun continues to shine, i'll still love you. like the moon and the stars in the sky. i carnt forget you.
- you'll nvr noe hw hurt i feel whn i see you sadd -

math common test tmr
and i havent studied.
wun be updating it too frequently.
exam period.

thursday 17o82oo6 ;
i went home right aft sch! (:
i came home cos xueting, cien, fareen and sing yi nvr go for their library,
they postponed it.
so i went home.
i dunno wad happened.
i only remember roughly.

friday 18o82oo6 ;
the worse day of mah 2006 life.
thanks to soccer,
i almost fractured mah right hand! >_<"
i freaked out.
mr tham called mummy,
mummy called daddy and they sent me to the clinic
and den for x ray and den i went bck to sch.
i didnt wanna go home dats why.
i did train despite the pain! (:
i didnt really cry,
only whn afiqah touched mah hand den i cried.
but anyway.
THANK YOU GIRLS! (:
mah hand hurt lyk hell,
i wasnt able to write nor do anything
and the worse thing is the doctor didnt treat mah wound
and i dere is an infection.
and its difficult for me to write.
i endured everything.
whn i gt home,
i took a bath, ate and went to sleep.
i was really tired.
thanks to me,
mummy, daddy and mr tham got their day off.
i'm such a kind soul!
i'm being spastic.
deres much more larhs,
but i'm jus tooo lazy to update.

saturday 19o82oo6 ;
i went to church for class as usual.
we all met at clementi. (:
we all wore white.
we look lyk aliens.
i bought a blouse which i haf to lyk wear for so long?
den we had our class and den we did wardening for mass.
nth new, nth speical.
jus that mah hand hurtt lyk hell!
but it didnt really matter.
i've grown up,
abit of pain will nt kill me! (:
celebrated ah gong's birthday! (:
james and mandy wasnt dere
but aunty ah ping and family came! (:

sunday 2oo82oo6 ;
i had a day off to relax mah hand and let it recover.
i aint allowed to carry heavy weights
until the wounds on mah hand heals.
celebrated ah gong's birthday with james and mandy this tyme.
a normal dinner plus cake.
the cake was AWESOME! (:

monday 21o82oo6 ;
the day went past as usual.
i started using mah right hand to write alrdy.
but mah words really SUCKED!
but anyway,
i didnt really care larhs.
mah handwriting deproved.
mah right hand dun haf as much energy as it used to have. ):
its saddening but wadeva it is.
i'm a rightie!
so i haf to use mah right hand! (:
trng was tiring.
i sabo-ed the whole team.
sorrie i didnt listen well to insutrctions.
but anyway,
they didnt do it of course so it doesnt really matter.
i'm glad i completed it.
10 rounds round the field is crazy!
mr tham disturbed me! ):
so sadd.
i drank 1 glass of chocolate milk before i went to school and before i went to sleep.
i'm such a good girl! (:

tuesday 22o82oo6 ;
obviously, the day went on as usual.
nothings new.
its a long long long day of studying.
i'm really tired and exhausted frm studying but i shall continue.
i mus JIAYOU!
the september holidays is nt the tyme for me to take a break.
its the tyme for me to CHIONG STUDYING!
i'm being so GUAI!
i came hm aft sch today.
i played maple.
maple is stupid and dat makes me stupid in a way as well.
maple is CRAP!
i'm really tired,
i almost slept in mrs jacob's class.
but i didnt larhs.
sch is as alwaes BORING.
nths new.
i did skipping during recess today.
and 2 sets of stomach and back.
whn i got home den i realised that i am suspose to complete the other 3 sets of exercises.
but i did it at home larhs.
i'm guai okayy.
i haf to start studying soon.
so i'll be going offline.
assembly was BORING and so TIME CONSUMING! >_<"
anyway, its all ovr.
let tmr be another new day.

RUILING!
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AMANDA CHEE! (:
HAPPY BIRTHDAY AH GONG! (:

the trouble with guys is ;

came home early today.
need to study for tmr's test.
i'll pass it for mr goh! (x
try try try.

tuesday :
- studied
- did hmwrk thn revised for ss test on wed
hand almost broke luhs.
went to meet joyce in church.
was late.
talked abt "best friend"
den went hm.
she gt a lift frm her neighbour.
i walked to nannygrand's hse.
had dinner and decided to stay ovr
so that i can go to sch easily the nxt day.
stayed ovr and studied.

wednesday :
- ss test in the morning
almost killed myself.
i learnt britain and iceland
but north and south korea came out.
i wun fail.
haha.
confident alright,
last minute revision helps okay.
paying attention helps more!

trng aft sch.
suspose to be games
but no one's interested.
trng ; 3km.
so long since i last ran and it has to be 3km!
completed my trng! (: (: (:

went for dinner with laogong and jacky.
been a long time since i last ate with them.
talked abt the past.
reached hm late.

thursday :
- studied for lit in the morning.
aaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh,
lazyyyyyy to blogggggg alrdyyyyyy.

RUILING!

took such a long time to load this page.
tmr is assumption,
no one seems to be going for mass.
whose gonna accompany me?

i really WISH these people will one day realise,
i mean AT LEAST REALISE hw much PRESSURE they are giving us.
how much STRESS we are having and try to UNDERSTAND
that studying ISNT as easy as it USED to be!
it AINT easy being a student okayy!
the PRESSURE and STRESS and
the amount of HOMEWORKS pilling higher and higher.
the rate these assholes are TORTURING us!
goodness!
maybe life of a student is easy in the PAST,
but please larhs.
we're living in the PRESENT please!
the past is alrdy ovr. now,
life of a student AINT easy at all okayy!
at least TRY that very minimum to UNDERSTAND us can?
understand what are we going through can?
you may think you've been through it.
yes,
you've been though studying,
but you havent been through wad student are going through NOW!
we are being CLASSIFIED.
we are being OUT-CASTED!
we are being COMPARED!
i'm sick of excelling,
i'm sick of life!
today is the day of mah life,
whn i CURSE all these people!
PERISH AND DIE!

todays such a crappy day.

i'm so tired i dun wanna blog.

byeeeeeeeeeeee..

RUILING!

whn i run away frm you.

trng has resumed,
it started on friday.
wasnt really tired aft trng
cause we only played games.
fun fun fun.

line catching rocks!
injured ankle. ):
but everything's alright,
just blisters.

i hate some of my juniors. ):
i gt so much hmwrk to do!

english common test was on friday.
hopefully i do well.

trng was funnnn!
i has guiting there with me whn i needed someone.
lolol.
i love her.
i love triplets more! (:

aft trng went with laogong and sj.
wanted to go imm but i didnt go cause my leg hurts.
so they left without me.

I LOVE MY SWEETIE! :DD

cat class was awesome!
haddddd funnnnn.
awesome artist luhs!
took part in ministries.
fun fun fun.

HE'S HOTT! :DDDDD

RUILING! :D

If only my misery could be weighed,
and all my ills be put on the scales!
But they outweigh the sands of the seas :
what wonder then if my words are wild?
The arrows of Shaddai stick fast in me,
my spirit absorbs their poison,
God's terrors stand against me in array.
Does a wild donkey bray when it finds soft grass,
or an ox ever low when its fodder is in reach?
Can tasteless food be taken without salt,
or is there flavour in the white of an egg?
The very dishes which I cannot stomach,
these are my diet in my sickness.
Oh may my prayer find fulfilment,
may God grant me my hope
May it okease God to crush me,
to give his hand free play and to do away with me!
This thought, at least, would give me comfort
( a thrill of joy in unrelenting pain )
that I had not denied the Holy One's decrees.
But have I the strength to go on waiting?
What use if life to me, when doomed to certain death?
Is mine the strength of stone,
or is my flesh bronze?
Can any power be found within myself,
has not all help deserted me?
Grudge pity to a neighbour,
and you forsake the fear of Shaddai.

My brothers have been fickle as a torrent,
as the course of a sesonal stream.
Ice is the food of their dark waters,
they swell with the thawing of the snow ;
but in the hot season they dry up,
with summer's heat they vanish.
Caravans leave the trail to find them,
go deep into desert, and are lost.
The caravans of Tema look to them,
and on them Sheba's convoys build their hopes.
Their trust proves vain,
they reach them only to be thwarted.

So, at this time, do you behave to me :
one sight of me, and then you flee in fright.
Have I said to you, "Give me this or that,
bribe someone for me at your own cost,
snatch me from the clutches of an enemy,
or ransom me from a tyrant's hand?"
Put me right, and I will say no more ;
show me where I have been at fault.
Fair comment can be borne without resentment,
but what is the basis for your strictures?
Do you think mere words deserve censure,
desprate speech that the wind blows away?
Soon you will be casting lots for an orphan,
and selling your friend at bargain prices!
Come, I beg you, look at me :
as a man to man, I will not lie.
Relent, and grant me justice ;
Relent my case is not yet tried.
Is falsehood to be found on my lips?
Cannot my palate tell the taste of misfortune?

job 6 : 2-30

RUILING!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY SINGAPORE! (:

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY PEOPLE! (:

hello.
today was a pretty alright day.
i didnt have lessons.
that made the day absolutely awesome.
the skit was dumb.
damn paiseh luhs.
anyway,
we did it though we didnt win.
it's all abt trying.

most of the actors in the skit didnt turn up.
no class spirit. ):
sch ended early. (:

cien, xueting and i went to change.
my skirt was freaking short
and i was so paiseh.
wanted to change bck but they didnt allow me to.
so i just wore it and hurried out of sch.

saw jeffrey, eugene and kok tong at the bus stop.
damn paiseh luhs.
all our skirts all so short,
especially mine.

just bought the skirt,
guess i wun wear it again
cause its too short.

went to entertainment to lunch
but i didnt eat.
cien and xueting ate thn we left.
wanted to go walk walk
but we saw liping so we stayed there to talk.

showed liping my photo album.
we took 1 neoprint and thn left.
wanted to go my hse but xueting is afraid of dogs.
so we went to xueting's hse. (:

wun deny,
we had funnnn.

thought liping nw to play mahjong.
she's addicted to it.
thn we played uno stacko.
den we cam whored.

took pics using mine and cien's phone camera.
den we went for a walk at clementi interchange.
bought bubble tea,
drank it at macs and thn went hm lerhs.

saw jia'en, melissa and felicia in the bus.
sat beside jia'en till she alighted.
i read my book aft she left and almost puked.

whn we were going to jurong east,
the bus was so effing slow luhs!
still raise his fist at us.
wtf.

memoris of a geisha rocks! (:

so much has happened in so lil time.
gimme time to disgest can?
whn i accept life,
i'll accept you.

RUILING!

someday we'll be together forever.
no one can ever seperate us.
no one cause baby,
iloveyou.
i dun wanna hurt you cause seeing you hurt,
hurts me much more.
its nt tht i dun wanna accept you,
i'm just nt ready for a relationship.
because i've loved you once in my life
and it hurts to lose a loved one.

If one should address a word to you, will you endure it?
Yet who can keep silent?
Many another, once, you schooled,
giving strength to feeble hands ;
your words set right whoever wavered,
and strengthen every failing knee.
And now your turn has come, and you lose patience too ;
now it touches you, are you overwhelmed.
Does not your piety give you confidence,
your blameless life not give you hope?
Can you recall a guiltless man that perished,
or have you ever seen good men brought to nothing?
I speak of what I know : those who plough iniquity
and sow seeds of grief reap a harvest of the same kind.
A breath from God will bring them to destruction,
a blast of his anger will wipe them out.
The lion's roar, his savage growls,
like the fangs of lion cubs are broken off.
For lack of prey the lion dies at last,
and the whelps of his lioness are scattered.

Now, I have had a secret revelation,
a whisper has come to my ears.
At the hour when dreams master the mind,
and slumber lies heavy on man,
a shiver horror ran through me,
and my bones quaked with fear.
A breath slid over my face,
the hairs of my body bristled.
Someone stood there - I could not see his face,
but the form remained before me.
Silence - and then I hear a voice,
"Was ever any man found blameless in the presence of God,
or faultless in the presence of his maker?
In his own servants, God puts no trust,
and even with his angels he has fault to find.
What then of those who live in house of clay,
who are founded on dust?
They are crushed as easily as moth,
one day is enough to grind them to powder.
They vanish for ever, and no one remembers them.
Their tent-peg is sntached from them,
and they die for lack of wisdom."

` job 4 : 1-21

Make your appeal then. Will you find an answer?
To which the Holy Ones will turn?
Resentment kills the senseless,
and anger brings death to the fool.
I myself have seen how such a one took root,
until a swift curse fell on his House.
His sons at a single blow lose their prop and stay,
ruined at the gate with no one to defend them ;
their harvest goes the feed the hungry,
God snatches it from their mouths,
and thirsty men hanker after their goods.
Grief does not grow out of the earth,
nor sorrow spring from the ground.
It is man who breeds trouble for himself
as surely as eagles fly to the height.

If I were as you are, I should appeal to God,
and lay my case before him.
His works are great, past all reckoning,
marvels, beyond all counting.
He sends down rain to the earth,
pours down water on the fields.
If his will is to rescue the downcast,
or raise the afflicted to the heights of joy,
he wrecks the plans to the artful,
and brings to naught their intrigues.
He traps the crafty in the snare of their own shrewdness,
turns stuble counsellors to idiots.
In daylight they come against darkness,
and grpe their way as in noon were night.
He rescues the bankrupt from their jaws,
and the poor man from the hands of violent.
Thus the wretched can hope again
and wickedness must shut its mouth.

Happy indeed the man whom God corrects!
Then do not refuse this lesson from Shaddai.
For hw who wounds is he who soothes the sore,
and the hand that hurts is the hand that heals.
Six times he will deliver you from sorrow,
and the seventh, evil shall not touch you.
In time of famine, he will save you from death,
and in wartime from the stroke of the sword.

You shall be saved from the slash of the tongue,
and see the approach of the brigand without fear.
You shall laugh at drought and frost,
and have no fear of the beasts of the earth.
You shall have a pact with the stones of the field,
and live in amity with wild beasts.
You shall find your tent secure,
and your sheepfold untouched when you come.
You shall see your descendents multiply,
your offspring grow like the grass in the fields.
In ripe age you shall go to the grave,
like a wheatsheaf stacked in due season.
All this, we have observed : it is true.
Heed it, and do so to your profit.

` job 5 : 1-27

RUILING!

May the day perish when i was born,
and the night that told of a boy conceived.
May that day be darkness,
may God on high have no thought for it,
may no light shine on it.
May murk and deep shadow claim it for their own,
clouds hang over it,
eclipse swoop down on it.
Yes, let the dark lay hold of it,
to the days of the year let it not be joined,
into the reconing of months not find its way.
May that night be dismal,
no shouts of joy come near it.
Let them curse it who curse the day,
wo are prepared to rouse Leviathan.
Dark be the stars of its morning,
let it wait in vain for light
and never see the opening eyes of dawn.
Since it would not shut the doors of the womb on me
to hide sorrow from my eyes.

Why did I not die new-born,
not perish as I left the womb?
Why were there two knees to receive me,
two breasts for me to suck?
Had there not been, I should now be lying in peace,
wrapped in a restful slumber,
with the kings and high viziers of earth
who build themseleves vasrt vaults,
or with princes who have gold and to spare
and houses crammed with silver.
Or put away like a still-born child that never came to be,
like unborn babes that never see the light.
Down there, bad men bustle no more,
there the weary rest.
Prisoner, all left in peace,
hear no more the shouts of the gaoler.
Down there, high and low are all one,
and the slave is free of his master.

Why give light to a man of grief?
Why give life to those bitter of heart,
who long for a death that never comes,
and hunt for it more than for a buried treasure?
They would be glad to see the grave-mound
and shout with joy if they reach the tomb.

Why make this gift of light to a man who does not see his way,
whom God baulks on every side?

My only food is sighs,
and my groans pour out like water.
Whatever I fear comes true,
whatever I dread befalls me.
For me, there is no calm, no peace ;
my torment banish rest.

` job 3 : 3-26

RUILING!
gimme back mah memories!

helllllllo. (:
today's another day i prayed that has gone by.
i had an awesome lunch and dinner
to celebrate jame's 20th birthday.
we celebrated it today cause the couple
celebrated it ytd.
he sure has loads of presents.

we bought him 2 tees
but he didnt like it.
he said it was ugly.
wtf.

so many people here today.
struggling with my hmwrk. ):

i'm shattering,
i feel like ending it all.

i hate life.
i hate school.
i hate studying.

i want the adidas watch if you dun want it anymore.

xoxo,
MARTHA!

i'm sorry i've hurt you time and again
i nvr meant for it to happen
i just cannot accept life the way it is
i'm sorry i've let you down time and again
i knw its wrong but i carnt help it
living a life i nvr wanted is unfair to us both
i dun wanna continue hurting you
i dun wanna see you hurt
i walked away so that you knw its ovr
i knw its nt the best way to say gdbye
but i had no choice but to let you go
you watched me leave
i turned my bck on you
you just dunno hw hurt i am to let you go
tears behing those smile
i'm unable to let go
i'm learning
letting is nvr easy
i walked away frm you
i'm sorry i left you there to bleed

Happy the man
who never follows the advice of wicked,
or loiters on the way that sinners take,
or sits about with scoffers,
but finds his pleasure in the Law of Yaweh,
and murmurs his law day and night.

He is like a tree that is planted
by water streams,
yielding its fruit in season,
its leaves never fading;
success attends all he does.
It is nothing like this with the wicked, nothing like this!

No, these are like chaff
blown away by the wind.
The wicked will not stand firm when Judgement comes,
nor sinners when the virtuous assemble.
For Yaweh takes care of the way the virtuous go,
but the way of the wicked is doomed.

` psalm 1 : 1-6

RUILING!
o6o82oo6`

happy happy happy!
linked my photo album lerhs.
havent finished posting pics though.
learnt something abt a math today.

i felt so empty today. ):

ms kavitha didnt come to sch today.
we had extra pe lessons today. (:
thank you bryan!
pe was super awesome!

mr tham's the man! (:
azlina and mr tham were tackling the ball,
thn bth tripped.
damn funny luhs!
i laughed like crazy!
mr tham laughed too.
mr tham gt scratches on his hands. ):

fun fun fun.
thats why i love mr tham's pe lessons! (:

ate lunch aft sch thn went to find mr ho.
saw him on the way.
he taught me a math.
we bth had headache. (x
ended the day whn i knew what was going on.
mr ho teaches damn well luhs!
he made me practice until i was so fluent in doing the sums.
good teacher! (:

bryan taught me simultaneous eqn.
lolol.
i'm like damn dumb luhs.
i didnt knw,
nw knw lerhs. (: (: (:

teachers who gave me extra lesson said my math sucked indirectly.
lololol. (x
cause i dunno anything abt it. (x

I MISS YOU DEARIE! ):

lil red dot was dumb!
laughed like crazy.
thanks to theses people ;
amanda, dearr, aiai, sweetie and lover.
lololol.
laughed almost at everything.
especially lover. (x

i'm hungry.

wonder if jolynn is alright,
she hurt her leg earlier on.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY ENYI! :DDD
LOVE YOU! :D

xoxo,
MARTHA!

dearie!
why you insult my friend? ):
do you knw hw hurt she'll be?
its heartbreaking to be insulted!
its unfair for me to lose a friend because of what you said.
its nt fair to me. ):
i wouldnt bitch abt your friends infront of you ok?
dun insult my friend please.

whey!
why you so busy with projects? ):
who ask you dun finished hmwrk earlier?!
hayo,
why you play until you injured your hand?
do you knw hw much it hurts me to see you in this state?
you're making me worried for you nw.
i miss you dearie,
i miss your crappings! (x
i wish you were here.
dun play games until you've receovered okay!
dun make me worry for you.
& remember your project!

i miss you so much i can die!
national day is arnd the corner.
naughty boy,
dun do hmwrk!
lololol.
hmwrk is giving you headaches.
its taking up so much of our time!
i want you to do your best cause you are the best to me!
dun let anyone look down on you!

dearie!
stop slacking,
do your work!

xoxo,
MARTHA!